Houston Art Car Parade

Filed under: Texas — trinque @ 11:55 a.m.

The Art Car Parade is a yearly Houston tradition. Entrants show off the terrible things they've done to perfectly good vehicles while the mob drinks in the sun. Here are some of the better vehicles of the last few years, some barely recognizable as such.

Willie was gonna run for president, but then he got high.

This thing was fast. The guy spent as much time on two wheels as four.

Yes, I've seen this driving around Houston throughout the year, and no, your kids shouldn't sit on his lap.

The rocket strap-on and hulk gloves almost pay for the vague political whining.

I couldn't tell you, but it's shiny. And that counts for something among primates, right?

Drag-queen fishmobile says smoke, kids.

That nudity was limited to the vehicle itself is imho low-effort.

Bring me a Coors, I'm the piano man.

Sadly, I couldn't get them to hit each other with the chairs.

I guess the guy thought Mad Max wasn't fabulous enough.

You have to wonder how long he spent in one before the fantasy occurred to him.

"Hey bro, listen. Skeletons in a skullmobile." Needless to say it smelled of weed.

This one was used to pull people out of flooded houses in Harvey when it was yet a mere canoe. Only 88 dead in that storm. Ever wonder why Texans aren't clamoring for socialism like the rest of the idiot empire? Rednecks.

Spiderkid was so stoked about spiderbike he ran right out there. Absolutely no one tried to stop him, because it's dangerous and little boys aren't supposed to do things. Beers in hand cheering him on, and you've got it right.

I'm very disappointed in this picture, but couldn't exclude mechanical Satan. The thing walks along the street as convincingly as a bunch of welded scrap metal can. What was that? Christian deep south? Keep thinking that, and please, don't visit.